I was on the green
I was having a dream
I was not alone
I had God on my team

Just me against the world
Against all of man kind
And me against myself
Against the doubts in my mind

I stared at the hole
But there were things in the way
I could see Tiger’s wife
And the leaves… How they sway

I must block it out
Just be the ball
I was ready to putt
Then I heard a call

I’ll just back off
And start up again
Just make this putt
And then I will win

Just be the ball
See the ball’s tracks
Take a deep breath
And try to relax

On the count of three
Just hit it true
One… Two… HACHOO!
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO?

Somebody sneezed
It was Tiger’s wife
Why is she sneezing?
She has a good life!

Forget about it
And make the putt
Try not to think about
The pain in my gut

I know I can make this
I’ve done it before
It’s a two foot putt
But it feels like forty four

Gee… Tiger’s wife
Is such a flirt
I can almost see
What’s up her skirt

And she keeps on winking
And shaking her hips
She’s flipping her hair
And puckering her lips

It’s hard to think
With all these distractions
The crowds getting antsy
They want some action

Block it all out
And make the putt
Don’t listen to the sounds
Of that distant mutt

My hands are sweaty
My head is on fire
And the mutt in the distance
Has an amplifier

My heart is racing
I can barely breathe
Everyone is staring
I wish they would leave

The hole is so small
And I can’t read the break
My eyes are all blurry
And I’m starting to shake

And look at this green
It’s not made for putting
Was it cut by a goat
Was a four wheeler mudding

I’m going to stroke it
First… I’ll say a prayer
“Please let me make this
And I’ll give you your share!”

I struck the ball
It started to break
The ground started moving
It was an earthquake

It danced to the left
And then to the right
If the ball goes in
I’ll be dancing all night!

It went past the hole
Then went off track
It bounced up and down
But then it came back

It was right on course
But then it slowed down
It got to the lip
And it spun all around

I can’t say that I won
Nor can I say that I choked
The alarm went off
And then I awoke

I flipped the pillow
I counted some sheep
I tried to finish it
But I could not sleep

Later in the year
I got to meet the man
He was very polite
And he shook my hand

I told him about the dream
And this what he said
If a man does not dream
He should try a new bed

If you want to be like me
Or you want to join the team
You can’t just be a dreamer
You have to live the dream