Speak softly, whispered love tones
Awaken not this sleeping brute
Whose beast-like, hairy arm encircles
‘Round about his fleshly loot

Speak softly, whisper near my bed
The window keep within thy sight
Could I but move his leaden weight
Oh, lover I’d be yours this night

He snores as though a wild thing
Foul breath doth make me faint
Sweet lover come and steal a kiss
Be thou my savior saint

The beast hath moved his arm away
Prepare the ladder quickly
I fear that I may sneeze, oh no!
His hairy arm was tickly

Ah-choo! Ah-choo! He’s waking now
I’ll leap upon your manly back
Then down those rungs of freedom
Oh, hear his deadly shotgun crack!

The pellets sting like killer bees
My life be done, ‘twould seem
Awakened then, I realize
‘Twas just a horrid dream!