i stand there
in the middle of anywhere
and i listen to
the horses' hooves
as they pound
on the pavement
building like a drumroll
louder and louder
closer and closer
and yet...
my carriage never arrives
and so i still stand
in the bitter cold
no sense of direction
no compass as a guide
just me
in my purest form
and the elements

i am so not sure
how i even got to this place
it seems like
just not very long ago
i was resting
in a comfortable room
that i knew so well
every nook and cranny
all the hidden places
were revealed
nothing could jump out
at me there
i knew all the secrets
and i could rest there

but life doesn't let me rest,
does it?
the wind has this way
of kicking itself up
and blowing
all those things
that i have to clung to
for such a long time
all over creation
it's a tornado
it doesn't judge
and it's not to be reasoned with
it just picks me up
from my safe little place
and it drops me
to somewhere totally new
so totally unfamiliar
and i have to feel
my way around
all over again

and i can never
go back...really
because the back
that i once knew
isn't there anymore
the winds bring change
and change uproots
the familiar
and it puts me
way out somewhere
in the middle of anywhere
squinting hard
just to see
waiting for that ride
to take me home
that never comes

and i hold my breath
and i close my eyes
and i wonder
where...
just where am i supposed to be?
and i feel my heart still beating
so deep in my chest
and i feel my soul still singing
all those songs that lift me up
and give me flight
and a warmth crawls over me
and the sense of all that i know
and all that i am
wells up inside me
and i laugh as i realize
something so obviously simple
home is not a place
way out there
that can be blown away
or flooded out
or shaken to its very core
home is within
and that is with me
solid
and in one peace
forever