once there was this little boy
who liked to sit way up high
in the top of the treetops
just to look down
and see all the craziness
that passes for sanity
in the big and wild world below him

and he laughs at the people
as they pass him by far below
not even aware of his presence
or of the fact that he is, indeed, king of the treetops
and the least that they could do
is give him a little bit of a salute
a tip of the hat perhaps or a hardy hidey ho
something...to acknowledge his greatness
and the fact that his big ole forehead
is pretty much bumping against the
big blue sky up there
yes...so very close to godliness!

so, he reasons, from their lack of enthusiasm
for their beloved little nutbasket king,
that they must be punished....
but not to fear...he has come prepared
he pulls out his backpack
filled to overflowing with the
most beautiful and bright colored
water balloons that the world has ever ever seen
and he starts dropping them...on people's heads
"FIRE ONE!" he cries and he sends one careening
toward some redheaded lady who looks up at him
with clenched fists and anger in her firey eyes!
"this is imported silk, you dumbass!" she says
as she climbs the tree and knocks the poor boy
from his perch and sends him dropping face first
into a big ole garbage can full of yesterday's fish

"ouch!" he sighs as she laughs
as she is now perched on top of the mighty tree
the new queen of the treetops
hail! hail! long may she rule!
just get her some dry clothes already!
and she looks around at her new little queendom far below her
and she smiles as the sun catches her firey hair
and sets her mind ablaze with such devious thoughts
for now...way far below her is her ex-boyfriend
the one who dumped her so unceremoniously
for that little neighborhood tart with the big fake boobs
and here she was, high above him,
sitting next to a backpack full of beautiful water balloons
and she takes one...and she drops it...straight down on his noggin
and he jumps at first and then shrieks and then looks up in the tree
and she says to him..."how's that for a booby???"
and he picks up a big round rock and hits her square in the behind
and she goes flying from the tree, cussing a bit along the way
and she lands on top of the boy
in the garbage pail full of the smelly fish
and the boy again says "ouch!"

and now the boyfriend looks up to see
this big ole bag of water balloons in the treetops
and he climbs on up to assume his rightful place
upon his throne and then he looks down
and he sees that pesky neighbor dog
that beagle who always howls and keeps him up
in the middle of the night...so inconsiderate!
and he whaps three water balloons in a row down
upon the poor doggie's head
and the dog barks and looks up and he grumbles to himself
"i'm going to have to bite this boy in the ass!"
but dogs can't climb trees
so he starts running around the neighborhood
chasing all the nastiest and scariest cats he can find
back to the tree and they run way up to the top
where the boyfriend is
and they look at him and they look at all the water ballons
and they try to scratch his eyes out
but instead just send him falling far below
into the garbage can on top of his ex-girlfriend
who is still stuck in the can with the boy
and all those danged fish!

and the dog walks up to the can
and he knocks it over
and the boyfriend is the first to roll out
and the dog bites him on the ass
making good on his promise
and then the red-haired young lady rolls out
and she smacks the boyfriend,
who is still holding his ass in pain, square across the kisser,
and he falls over into the grass
landing face first
on top of a pile of smelly fish
and then the little boy pops out
and he tries to kick the girl in the behind
but his legs are too short so he ends up falling on his own ass

so, by and by, a little skirmish ensues, between the dog,
the boy, the lady and the boyfriend
and the cats jump on top of them
and a wild ruckus ensues square underneath the treetops
and, needless to say, smelly fish is flying everyhwere
and then , suddenly from way above, as if sent by the gods,
the whole backpack full of water balloons pours down upon them
drenching them all and leaving them coughing
and gasping and sneezing and wheezing
and they look around at each other
and at how silly they all look
and they look way up into the treetop
to see what kind of clever devil would send such
a torrential downpour upon their little world
and all they see is a wee little squirrel with big buck teeth
and a pink tongue hanging out and he gives them all
the old raspberry and takes out a little crown
and places it on his own little head
and sits his furry ass down on the very highest branch
of an extremely high tree

the true king of the treetops, yes...in his perfect element!