out on the stoop at the tenement netch
we sit we cackle we whine we kvetch
we watch all our neighbors who come and go
yes that one's a drunkard that one's a ho!

there's five of us here on our little spot
there's cissy and shirley...they squawk a lot
alice and abby will judge you for sin
and me i just sit here take it all in!

here comes josie landers in her short skirt
that's cut up to jesus god what a flirt!
is she still sleeping with joe in 6B
or did she move on to sammy maczee?

she gets lots of mileage from that ole dress
she makes more deliv'ries than fed'ral express
she knocks on their doors so scantily clad
breaks out a horsewhip...asks have they been bad?

there's tommy bleecher a tasty young stud
has the right parts but i hear he's a dud
he flirts with the ladies then runs away
i dunno, alice...do you think he is gay?

in the dead of dark and on the full moons
cranks up the volume on bawdy show tunes
he runs down the street in tophat and tails
totes round a big net in search of the males!

and here comes that old man keeps to himself
looks like a munchkin yes looks like an elf
he eyeballs us girls with an evil grin
and says "oh ladies...where do i begin?

you sit here you yammer bout all this life
you make all your judgements cut like a knife
but one they must wonder where is the sin
does it come from neighbors or deep within?

for alice i see you when nobody looks
peeking in windows whilst standing 'top books
and abby don't you laugh so for goodness sake
we scoff at your boobies we know they're fake!

and cissy your husband so dapper and rosy
enjoys him a nooner with your friend josie!
and shirley don't look so like you're in shock
you've had sex with every guy on the block!

and as for you yes who takes it all in
might want a cracker to soak up that gin!
so keep this in mind as you tatter bout
best to be nicer else i'll rat you out!"

and then he skips on away down the street
so light on the loafers light on the feet
we look at each other then loook down in shame
the end of the party end of our game

and we quietly part there from our low perch
with all gossip hanging left in the lurch
for the power of blabber can surely hurt
least till tomorrow when we get fresh dirt!