not much i can say
in the early cold of morning
with a heaviness in the air
my throat all scratched up
i can barely speak
but who needs talk anyway
at a time like this?

the less noise the better
noise just invites onlookers
and we know we don't want that
i close the door to the trunk
as quietly as i possibly can
and yet in the back of my head
i still hear this ominous thud
echoing and echoing
over and over

no one will see you in there
i take out my keys
put one into the ignition
place my foor on the brake
and carefully...and still delicately
wait for the engine's quiet hum

then i back out slowly
driving down the streets
of our most humble home
trees lined on either side
the proverbial white picket fences
neighbors venturing out
to grab their morning papers
or perhaps sneak in a cigarette
somewhere where their spouses won't see
children waiting for the school bus
they all wave at me
and i wave back and smile

then i drive through the downtown
past all the lovely shops
where the keepers are all out
sweeping off their sidewalks
putting their wares out
in front of their stores
to lure people in
not me...i cannot be lured

so i keep driving
past the smokey, shady part of town
with boards on houses for windows
and stray animals running around everywhere
and old men with broken wrinkled faces
holding up their homemade cardboard signs at me
HOMELESS...HANDICAPPED...PLEASE HELP
i wince as i drive on by
secretly understanding the path
that leads to such desperation

and now i am at the dark and foggy docks
and i pull way out to the end of a pier
i stop the car and get out
and i look down at the black and murky
waves of the mighty ocean
way down below amidst all the smoke
and i open my trunk
and i see you just lying there
still, somehow, with that dreadful smirk on your face
you were a good wife while it lasted
but, as you now know...
everything has an expiration date
yours just came a little early

so i carefully lift you out of the car
much like i carried you over the threshold
so many years ago
i look down at you
watching little droplets of blood hit the pier
and i walk over to the edge
my feet teetering above the waves
and i drop you in
and i watch you and that smirk of yours
falling down into the water
and i see you make such a big splash
little black droplets flying up everywhere
and i take a moment and catch my breath
and i pull out a cigarette and light it up

guess i won't have to hide this from you now, huh?