welcome, good friends, to my kingdom of cheese
goudas galore all piled up past my knees!

the best of wisconsin best of vermont
best of the deli and greek restaurant

the cheddar is yummy yes creamy and rich
limburger smells like a son of a bitch!

the holes in the swiss i like to peek through
i melt mozzarella lick up the goo

the feta some say smells a bit like the feet
but brie sliced on muffins always a treat!

provolone wishes and hot pepperjack dreams
pizza-pie dishes yield smiles by the reams!

and bleu is so moldy crumbly and such
and muenster well hell scares me a bit much!

the creamiest goodness from cow or goat
gold from the udders a jestor once wrote

and i as king with my cheese and nut crown
must grate it and slice it throw it around

for cheese is my passion cheese is my life
yes cheese is my husband cheese is my wife

my kingdom's on crackers and soft puffy bread
my subjects are snackers biscuits for heads

and thus do i rule with royal delight
i bid ye all well a cheesy goodnight!