as i lie here in the corner
i can clearly see the brush
that sits on your dresser
the hard plastic
and the bits of red on it
it doesn't feel good
i know that
but i am used to you, mother
and your ways
which is why i know
now is not a good time to move

i'll just lie here waiting
until you say i can move
and you lift me up
and slap me hard
with the strap of a belt
or maybe a hot iron
or whatever happens to be handy
you're very good at this
and so fucking creative
i never stand a chance
against such power and authority

so i lie here
feeling the blood
trickle down my nose
and past my lips
it tastes very salty
a taste i know much better
than the taste of candy
the sight of your fist
and your face so in rage
i see so much more
than teddy bears
or toy race cars
or sweet yappy puppies

but it's okay
i see now that this
must make me stronger
this little learning process
even though my arm
may be broken yet again
as well as a few ribs
it's all worth it...right?
because i've learned
my valuable lesson
i just won't be seen
or even heard
and you'll be happy

or are you happy now?
is my torture somehow the key to your bliss?
i'm not sure i understand
but i dare not to argue with your judgement
mother knows best they say
and by the size of my bruises
i must say that you are very wise

maybe one of these days
i'll learn not to be such a bad boy
yet for the life i me
i don't know if i understand good
i see you there
with that bottle underneath the sink
and the other one in the pantry
and there's one in the bathroom
way behind the tub
and you drink from them all
with such shaky fingers
and trembling lips
and you close your eyes
and you pray for strength
the strength to keep
a little boy of five in line

and santa, the easter bunny
or even the tooth fairy
they don't even seem to see me now
as i lie here waiting
for you to calm down
and maybe drag me off to the hospital
swearing at me the whole time
about how it's all my fault
and you'll make up some story
about how i was playing
and fell down the stairs
or out of a tree or something
you always find the perfect excuse
and then i'll sit there for a while
alone on an emergency room bed
and only then do i dare to exhale
and maybe even cry a bit

it's amazing though
how much pain you can take
how many tears you can hold in
how many lies you can tell
all for the sake of family

i love you, mother.
you have taught me well...