look at me bouncing
so shiny and keen
a wee elephant
a big trampoline!

i go up and down
my wig all a mess
should have thought twice fore
i wore this short dress

the boys gather round
wonder what they seek
me and my glamour
or just sneak a peek?

so down to the ground
land square on my feet
blow them all kisses
"oh boys...want a treat?"

i strut all my stuff
a girl in her zone
shake all my boobies
grab a microphone

belt out a ditty
so bold and so strong
of studly sailors
with members too long!

who spend so much time
upon the high seas
lusting for ladies
they fall to their knees

a mermaid appears
one such fateful trip
she says "hello sailors...
wanna see me strip?"

the captain shouts out
"you think me a fool?"
the crew's tongues a-flappin
and starting to drool

i sing of mermaids
do my fishy dance
the boys now howling
and dropping their pants!

i dance and sashay
my elephantine hips
pucker my lips up
and flash them my nips!

they hoot and holler
and throw me their cash
i stuff it all in
then make a big dash

with one flying leap
i jump over them all
run into the building
and scream down the hall!

" oh help me somebody...
a maiden so fair
chased by such horny
ole men with no hair!"

and to my aid comes
a young prince named Fletch
we run to the parlor
the tenement netch

he locks up the doors
bolted safely in
takes off his trousers
"oh baby...let's SIN!"

i look round the room
a sordid old place
suck up some champagne
snort it in his face!

and whilst he's blinded
by bubbles and all
hop out the window
and take a big fall

i land in the pool
the waves do abound
makeup all mess'd up
i look like a clown!

i run down the street
being chased by a crowd
singing sea shanties
and whistling quite loud!

run to the circus
my humble old home
warn all my sisters
"you never must roam!

for men are such vile
and filthy ole beasts
and don't ever like them...
no...not in the least!"

i show them the cash
we lap up some booze
then take the money
to go on a cruise

the brochure assures
a girls only trip
we pack up our bags
and hop on the ship!

to say i am shocked
says the very least
to find our outing
a big lesbian feast!

so we get chased round
the deck of the boat
suck in all our trunks
and hope that we float!

we jump overboard
and splash in the sea
swim to an island
yes we are now free!

we live here like queens
upon sunny shores
half naked sailors
they serve as our whores

they feed us big grapes
and fan us all off
we blow them kisses
we tease and we scoff!

and life's now rosy
for gentle Miss Pearl
out in the south seas
come give me a whirl!