it just has to be true cause i saw it on E!
i had to scratch my eyes and say "how can this be?"
i watched with such interest as i ate baked beans
yes...celebs now cleanse themselves in washing machines!

twas jessica simpson i think started this new trend
she fell straight into her washer when she tried to bend
her cat closed the lid on her hit "permanent press"
and she spun round in a cyclone...hair such a mess!

but when it was over she popped out so squeaky clean
then jumped in the dryer to fluff herself so keen
she came out warm and fuzzy and dizzy as dirt
said "ya know what, kitty...it didn't even hurt!"

and word soon spread like butter across tinsel town
inspired new laundromats with a big sudsy clown
and the stars all piled in they screamed out with such glee
julia roberts, brad pitt, angelina jolie!

with chic triple loaders so spacious and so sound
the stars all hopped in them, yes and whirled all around
the red carpet dazzled so on the opening night
saw spencer and heidi, the whole gang from "twilight!"

jon gosselin was there with six dates on his arm
wooed them with fabric softener and bubbly charm!
tyra jumped in a dryer in a vera wang gown
and then when she came out it was on upside down!

and bulbs were all flashing and the crowd was all ears
they were treated to music by miss britney spears
and i watched them bubble up with mirth and delight
i ran straight to my basement and popped on the light!

and i opened the door to my own wee machine
i stuffed my fat ass way in it washed myself clean
my dog then shut the door and then he pushed "heavy load"
bubbles soon submerged me as i creaked like a toad!

a watery cyclone soon spun all round my sweet head
fluffed up in the dryer then stumbled off to bed
i lied there to think all april fresh and lazy
said to myself:

"those stars are plum fucking crazy!"

DISCLAIMER: Please, kids...do NOT try this at home!