the dully mcdulls threw the same old bash
was well on my way i felt for some cash
because on my path a man i did spot
selling his magic and boy was it hot!

he had tophats and cards rabbits and such
and so many wands and i liked them so much!
a polka dot wand for me did the trick
the man said he "that's a silly old stick!"

i paid him my money sashayed away
left to the dull party...mischief okay?
hid the wand down my pants easy to grab
no one would see it and no one would blab!

the old doorman's face was solid as stone
gave me this look asked was i alone...
i saw him back up some might have been wise
out from my pocket a stick it did rise!

i zapp'd his big belly made him a frog
he croak'd then belch'd then he slept like a log
and i held my head up went through the door
prevent this shindig from being a bore!

stuffshirts amok stale wine and some chatter
filled the room what the hell was the matter?
my stick flew in the air bubbly and blue
sighed to myself this certainly won't do!

and out from the top a shiny green light
made them all goofy for one simple night
the band it went crazy rocked out with cheer
a kegger was forming bring on the beer!

the ladies went topless men lost their pants
guzzled down jello shots started to dance
and way in the corner think i did smell
was it some reefer? this can't go well!

so the creme de la creme social elite
got their groove on in their cold stocking feet!
hung from the rafters and swung from the stairs
cried out for munchies like grizzly ole bears!

the pizza boy came the ladies all froze
thought him a stripper and took off his clothes
his face turned beet red he covered his stash
the girls all then mobbed him waving some cash!

i watched it all with a smile and a grin
held out my stick and oops! popped my chin!
turned into a donkey let out a screech
i'll get that huckster the son of a beach!

i ran far away to the ole man's shop
"you best change me back! else i'll call a cop!"
"come now," he cried with a sprinkling of class
"can't goose a bash without being an ass!"