oh he leaps over barrels and he leaps over crates
nothing quite as graceful as a big moose on skates!

and he wiggles his antlers and hums through his nose
does a sweet figure eight whilst his teeth hold a rose!

and cameras all flash as he shines oh so bright
twirls all over the ice in such moosey delight!

and then he twirls, then leaps and lifts up his hind leg
while the girls all swoon for him they plead and they beg!

"oh moosey you stud a big superstar on ice
come on let's get cozy and make moose love so nice!

let me ply you with wine get you horny inside
ride you like a stallion on your big moosey hide!"

the moose smiles and glimmers and pushes them all away
"hey...back off all you lovelies for this moose is gay!"

then the girls all start crying they bellow and boo
"we just hate you so much now take this and fuck you!"

and they throw at him melons bananas and such
he snorts, calls them bitches and swears at them in dutch!

he shows them all the fur on his big moosey ass
whoever said skating had to be full of class?

and he goes to his moose home all huffy with hate
just how could they assume a moose skater be straight?

he tucks himself in next to his lover named Gus
still trying to ponder the reason for the fuss!

he kisses him on the cheek with some big moosey licks
"good thing i'm so gay cause i don't understand chicks!"