Overwhelmed with emotions, what has become of my life?
Decisions led to choice, choice to consequence; consequences of pain, anger, agony….
We are all but sentient puppets on God's stage, every decision we make ultimately leads to one thing. Every man has a weakness, and that which we desire ultimately consumes us, mine was power, it made me feel in control. Unbeknownst to us all that the moment we wake, our path has already been paved for us with a few traps along the way. No one is in control of their destiny, as much as we would like to believe we are.

I searched for greener pastures only to find that it has all been consumed by a stranger with an all too familiar face, looking at it makes me sick but every man at the end of his time must face it. I cried as I held the one I loved in my hands, looking to the heavens for answers till the wind dried my eyes, without a promise of purpose I rose from the pavement, confronted my inner most thoughts on whether to exact my revenge.
They say death is the great unifier but tragedy can desensitize you. It changes your point of view on a lot of things, religion being one of them. You search for answers but you're never satisfied. Time never heals the wounds, it just buries them and if one scratches lightly beneath the surface, everything resurfaces. Just like a poorly extinguished fire is quickly reignited.

I'm just a man, I've lost far too much to care about anything else. If it were up to me, I would watch the world burn, with everything in it including myself. I sound insane right? On the contrary, I'm very much lucid at this point in time but I'm afraid my sanity will soon leave me.
But you know what the funny thing is? Just when you think things can't get any better, it miraculously does. God has a cruel sense of humour if you ask me. He sends me an angel of mercy, like an insurance policy He replaces what we've lost. It may be more or it may be less, He replaces nonetheless. In my case she's equally as beautiful as my previous love.
Overwhelmed by remorse for my ungodly thoughts, I make peace with myself and my maker and proceed to live my life till he claims it.