For 10 long years, I was befuddled,
Over this kitchen injustice and mockery.
A crime versus Mother Nature and
Her legume and herbal family.

Let’s take for instance this Baby Spice
C’mon, do you think we can confer.
Have you seen fennel sucking thumbs?
Or a mustard seed in diaper?

And then, there’s Scary Spice.
How did you come up with that ghastly name?
Is there a nutmeg or saffron you know,
Holding axe with eyes in flames?

Ms Posh Spice, now’s your turn.
Think your insult, we would never know?
A thyme in heels and leather belts?
Or a fashionably pungent oregano?

Sporty Spice, what were you thinking?
Cloves in sweats? You kept me laughing.
Imagine curry wrapped in Adidas bag.
It’s like my trusted basil gone very drag!

Ginger Spice, you, I can forgive.
No misrepresentations I can appeal.
The only complaint I have for you.
Is you weren’t as rooty as the real deal.

Spices of the world, herbs or dried,
From black peppers, cinnamon to licorice.
Hold your roots together and unite!
Let’s stand against this pantry prejudice!