I Tried To Write A Poem

I tried to write a poem
To describe the love I feel
I tried to write a poem
Wanting it to be all and real

And so I wrote the poem
With you on my mind
Recited it with gusto
With perfection to find

I wrote,
"You are like an old bottle,
Filled with million pink feathers,
Amber glass, bursting in sunlight
Nothing can get any better"

Then in a jiffy moment,
I read the words again,
Hoping to edit,
To give it more meaning

So I decided to lose,
The metaphors and lines
To make it freeflowing
Make it sound mine

"You were my friend,
Now, more of a lover.
Forgive me, for being frank.
Can I be your forever?"

I was not happy, still.
I was not feeling the vibe
It was simply telling, I thought.
A poem should describe!

So, I tried once more,
Seeking to be bold
Avoiding the cliches
Avoiding to read old

It said,
"You are eletrifying,
A signal subscribed desire, zapping
and tapping into my wireless mind,
Connection? A million bytes per hour..."

It really sounded weird, I said,
Like it came from outerspace
Too modern and abstract
Sigh! I wished it had more taste

So, for my very last try
I closed my two eyes
Pondered on what to say
To make your heart fly

Then, finally, it came
When I was about to cry
It felt not forced
It felt just so right

It might be very brief,
But, surely, this is true
The poem read like this:
"My poem is you!"

you captured...

the process perfectly. :) thanks for sharing..

Thanks also,

for reading it.
This one is for someone close to me,
and, I'm happy you enjoyed and appreciated the piece.
All the best!
Eric

Just Right

This is so sweet. Sometimes it is hard to say exactly what you mean in the way that you mean it. This shows how much thought and effort you put into your writing. I can imagine you there with your pile of crumpled papers. This made me smile, thanks for sharing!

Jill

I always

get lost in the process of trying.
Happy to know you understand and you pictured what I wanted to express perfectly.
Thanks Jill!
Eric

...

Wow i really like this its so true how its so hard to describe it sometimes i like this a lot

Thanks SilentSymphony!

I'm so happy you commented on my poem,
And, I'm equally glad you can relate to this. :)
Eric

nice

nice work dude
very deep poem
slow is awesome to
thanks for posting it

Derek,

Thanks for the comment man!
I appreciate it...
Eric

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