Clearer To See
Lighting candles in remembrance
Brings my soul some relief
Each flame for the years of brilliance
But my light dims with this disbelief
Sitting, wishing, waiting, wanting
Floating around my head
Feels like I’m watching
Myself as I cry in bed
You’ve finally made it clear
I gave away my safest place
And the only thing I had to fear
You’ve committed and shoved it in my face
It was supposed to be out of love
It was supposed to be for us
You said it was out of love
Now I see that we failed because of lust
So I find myself longing to disbelieve
The lies about your “God’s peace”
And it’s only getting clearer to see
That you betrayed and we ceased
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for the flow of it
Ronald J. Edwards
Trinity Ink
http://trinityinkexperiencestrengthandhope.blogspot.com
Great poem twizzler, I have a suggestion to better the flow and meter of the poem. Try to maintain the count from line to line stanza to stanza. I've re-wrote your first four lines, can you hear the difference in it's flow ?
Lighting candles in remembrance
Brings my soul some relief
Each flame for the years of brilliance
But my light dims with this disbelief
Lighted candled memory
brings my soul relief.
Each flame for years a summary
that dims with disbelief.
Just a humble suggestion, nothing more nothing less
:)
ron
preciate it sir =D
preciate it sir =D