Pulled this one out of an old folder from many years ago....inspired by my highschool sweetheart.

He’ll never know
How long I cried
How hard I tried
To reach him
How much I loved
And missed him
He’ll never know
The moment
I remember most
Was the face that greeted me
The last time the bus pulled up on the coast
And I finally kissed him
He’ll never know
How bad I felt
The night he left my house in tears
The words he’d meant to speak that night
That I destroyed
Were left forever burning and stinging in my ears
I was
Too young
Too stupid
Too many problems
Couldn’t see
What was right in front of me
Didn’t know
Didn’t show
Didn’t have a clue
What love was indeed

He’ll never know
How many years I spent
Desperately trying
To make it right
How I’d toss and turn
And cry at night
Kicking myself
For a moment
That came
And went
That I’d never get back
No matter how many calls
Or letters were sent

By the time I figured it out
He was out of my life
Gone forever no doubt
And over the years
My head hung so low
Miserably trying to let him go
As time passed
My soul twisted and changed
As I worked out issues of
Childhood pain
The person, who I was
Dissasembled and re-arranged
My sadness
Turned to gladness
That he wasn’t here
To see me so low
Would have killed me
And hurt him deeply I fear
Was better that he just didn't know
And with him left the family
And dreams of a normal life
The strong desire
To be someones wife
But I eventually found peace with
Finding myself
And building my own life
With my heart on a shelf
He left a bar
So incredibly high
That his shoes could only be filled
By an incredible guy
Many times I’ve tried and failed
This man is about as elusive as the holy grail
Or perhaps my path is to now walk
Alone
But it’s okay now
I’m now strong enough
To make it on my own
I wish I could see him happy
Know it’s over
To see the end
Close the book
To once again see
My very, very best friend