Waiting once more
Trying not to look
Alone I sigh
Passing time
That feels like watching paint dry
And then waiting
And watching the cracks form
Do I just let it crack
Apply another coat
Or scrape down to bare walls
And start all over again?
Wondering for a moment if cracked paint
Is better than no paint at all?

So many questions inside
Trying not to cry
How long?
If not now when?
If not him?
Who?
If never
Why?

Unable to settle
For anything less
Than everything
I want it ALL
Strong, responsible, loving, passionate, artistic, honest, spiritual, loving and tall
Unable to except never!
Wanting so badly to taste forever
Arms with strength to hold
Eyes that see things I have not told
Passion that sets me on fire with desire
Speaking words that unfold
And calm my soul
Delivering me
From my private misery
With what should be
Written in destiny

I wait
And I wait
And I wait
And anticipate
While I hate
Past disappointment
That has robbed me
Of my joy
Left me a broken toy
A thief who stole moments
And left only tearstained
Memories
Of what should be
And couldn’t be
And will never be
As I yearn to be free
Of this need inside of me
To be with the one true
Hoping and wishing it could be ...

Took a minute
To let the last one go
Still haunted from time to time
By shadows
Painful reminders
That act as blinders
To protect something precious
By moving slow
Trying hard not to look
Or get hooked
I can’t think
Or blink
Yet I hesitate
As I perpetuate
One mo again
Wondering what has begun
And where it will end
Lover or friend
Time spent
Feelings truly given
Or just lent?

Needing to know
But won’t let it show
Won’t allow feelings
To slow my roll
Though the writing’s on the wall
That I could possibly fall
No more heartbreak
Will I take
Hell nah!
I want it all!
Not even open for debate
I will
For once
Sit still damnit!
And I WILL wait
And in time
We'll see what’s truly meant to be
For you and me
And what is only a dream
Watching for a sign
Knowing regardless
Of whatever happens
I’ll be just fine