Umm, I hope. The only way I really know how to relate, ANY of it
Is through poetry. (And please excuse any misspelling. My glasses aren't doing the job any more! Lol)
I also want to thank heartily... All your kind words and obvious concerns. They mean a lot. Thank you.

I haven't been here for a while
because I've been in jail
well, the hospital
which is the same thing
My trouble started back in 00
when I inexplickitly started choking
No, not like yo think
this was a whole different thing
My throat muscels stopped listening
to my brain (Where I don't blame them for sure)
So I lost the abillity to swallow
If I drank.... I could eat
This baffled Doctors
as well as me
I've been through dozens of doctors
and pysch wards
trying to figure this out
to the point of death many times
I've actually nearly starved to death
trying their stupid
"guinie pig" solutions
But the truth was
They had no clue what to do about it
And painfully so... Neither did I

I tried accupuncture, hypnosis, and other
Hollistic approaches
and don't come back and tell me about God
Because I spent years trying that too
Also, I have a very solid, tangible connection with God
So that clearly wasn't the problem
I finally (After my own sister had me sectioned for 30 days
Where I didn't eat for 27 days in a row
Decided to go up north to die.
Out of three businesses lost
4 kids, a wife a 1/2 Mill house and so much more
I was an empty shell....
Now I AM crying writing this

Well after almost drowning
But managing to escape that
I am struggling out of the deep
depression left over from all those losses

I taught myself how to eat
after months of effort
but the reppercussions have been brutal.
I went from aboput $600 a day
to now being on $900 a month
I have no vehicle, license or
seemingly sometimes
no life.
I'm sorry if I come accross a bit perturbed at times
But I hope now you have a bit of understanding about why

Now please don't feed me God stuff
I have one and I have a solid connection there
My problem has been staying sober
probably out of anger
from all the losses I've suffered
This baffeling disease that struck me
out of nowhere

To wrap this up, and believe me
this is the short version
of all the mysery I've been through
I'm sorry if I go off the wall occasoinally
I truly appologize
I am sorry

Okay... This wasn't very poetic (Though I have written plenty of poems about this, I haven't posted any here.) But my life, for the last 9 years has been a nightmare... And I can only hope some of you can understand...
Thanks

Tom W