one day defeated, the next day redeemed
the next week repeated, painful as it seems
the Gray area is home, always on the edge
perched there alone, no matter what was said

my nights are filled with anguish
sleep rarely settles my eyes
i dream of peace in overtures
with instruments i despise

senses swimming in the cesspool of my mind
keeping it professional, with a little let loose on the side
definitions become blurry, surely a mistake

tortured by reality, escape to my memories
unable to show affection, hiding in my dream world
a place where i am important
a savior, one again adequate
and my poems spark guilt and lust

my mind is on you, still i listen to another
you occupy my desk as i wish you were my lover
separated by days, and years of confusion
i haven't been sincere, but masquerades i'm through with

nobody knows my sorrow
no one but myself creates it
i lay awake for a better tomorrow
once it comes, i try and replace it
i've been to comfortably numb
when awake, it's like i escaped it

abused by the booze, forever failing my sanity
distraught and unshaven, hiding from the family
ridiculed by own voice, the choice is mine
a picnic in the shade can't escape the sunshine