With a blunt, blinding force it hits you.
Fear,
Confusion,
The desperate gasp for air,
As if you are drowning,
Sinking in despair,
Nightly shadows closing in,
A constant pull dragging you to the bottom,
Ripping your body seemingly into the Earth itself,
The fiery pits of hell waiting at its core.
Fire licks your skin,
Yet your body is uncomprehendingly cold,
And oh so alone,
As it feels all around you as if snow falls in a still silence,
As in the deepest of winter days,
Freezing the grounds touch,
Ice crawling through your veins,
Pushing through to your heart,
Imprinting itself on your soul.
Pain and fatigue rack your body,
Causing it to quiver and weep openly in agony,
Yet sleep is out of reach,
A luxury undeserved,
And so your eyes remain welded open,
Staring blankly,
Your mind frozen and empty,
Your body immobile,
Unable to be controlled,
As all will has left you.
No longer are you one with your body,
Its needs longer hindering,
As you have been torn outside of body,
Outside of mind,
Into the nothing that remains,
The agonizingly dark, meaningless nonexistence
That is all that is left behind,
And you feel and hear and see nothing
But the pain and darkness that is all you can understand,
All that you can be without all that was taken,
Your body broken,
Your will and desire shattered,
And there is no need for death,
Because despite the remnants of body,
All that you are is already dead,
All love and hope and dreams have vanished.
Such is what lies behind true loss.