The Keeper Of A Castle
Look at me and tell me just what do you see?
Do you see the good in me? Don't see me only as a child.
I've got dreams and dreams are all I'll ever need,
But do you know how far I see? I see forever in my eyes.
I'm the keeper of a castle, the host of many rooms.
Some are grand with splendor, some are dark with gloom.
There are many hidden chambers and secret corridors,
And ghosts in every closet and deep beneath this floor
Lies a room of pain and suffering where the walls drip with blood and tears.
And the rats feed off the weaker ones, (though I've not been down there for years).
Look again, now do you wish to be my friend?
If I dare to let you in, do you promise not to leave?
For so long I have been left on my own.
But that's the part that makes me strong and also brings me to my knees.
As the keeper of the castle, there's lots of work to do
We could clean out all the closets if you'd help me to.
We could find the hidden chambers and open wide the doors
And in time we'd work our way down deep beneath this floor.
Then turn the room of pain and suffering to a distant memory.
The work may take forever... but that's how far I see.
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A contradiction?
First off, you write very, very well.
To clean that castle, starve the monster, and "forever" will clarify to a measurable time horizon.
Thanks for the write
tonibrittoni dolanf I
tonibrittoni
dolanf
I appreciate your remarks, but I have to admit I'm a bit confused as to the part of "clarify to a measureable time horizon". I've never been taught poetry and so I'm not sure if your asking me to define forever or what??? Please forgive my ignorance, but if you could explain more it might help.
I'm glad you enjoyed it enough to comment.
Thanks!
Toni
Two poems
My remark of a time horizon had no reference to poetry. I tend to look at works as a personal statement of the creator and I made a linkage between “The Keeper of A Castle” and “It’s Time to Feed My Monster”.
I postulated that if the castle is one’s mind and the monster is feeding on it's fears the mind will not be freed from clutter.
It was in that context that I talked of a time horizon to be set in which closure would occur.
I appear to have wrongly linked two independent works, causing the confusion.
Dolan
its a nicely written piece
its a nicely written piece
well,iread it again and
well,iread it again and yes...i can see what your are getting at...very interesting.have you read 'who am i in you christ?'...i have tried to write on a similar theme....i am enjoyin your work