Sunshine On The Rainy Funeral Day Of Love (R.I.P)
The minute you were born, you were crying because:
"Welcome to this cold world, where your dying for love
Welcome to this brave world, where your fantasy forms"
Ever since a little girl, you imagined this war
Ever since your father held you in his arms all night
Said you'd make him proud, now your always starting a fight
Said you loved him, you were like a princess, to him
Now neglect and disrespect is all your really giving to him
Your mother worked hard, always had a warm plate
Til you got a little older and went on your first date
Recognized that your maturing and your mind will change
So everytime you see his smile your intertwined with pain
In your brain, hear the echo's of your past dream die
Laying wide awake, tonight-is the last you cry
Made a promise to yourself, follow them instead of thinking
Never really knew inside its a defense, mechanism
Your genetically programmed, to follow the lies-
See, today your still, living but tomorrow you'll die
And every man you meet, from here on...is just a slave
You can call it a cycle til-you yourself, feels the pain
And you recognized the symptoms, your feeling the flue
Your spirit is through, the mirror that you see in was true
You let the plague, slowly manifest and and break you down-
-But baby trust me..its not too-late to take them out...you gotta love YOU
It may be Rest In Peace
But it WILL be....;
Restored In People
- Thought2012's blog
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- 5151 reads
slow down on that ticker
Ronald J. Edwards
Trinity Ink
http://trinityinkexperiencestrengthandhope.blogspot.com
try and let a few people actually read your poem ...
thanks
i post a link to my poems on several other sites, which is why they get hotlinked so much
but thanks for your comment, hope you enjoyed it
really
Ronald J. Edwards
Trinity Ink
http://trinityinkexperiencestrengthandhope.blogspot.com
I'd really enjoy reading other poems , how can i get to those other sites , can you post the link here ?
Sure, do you have a myspace, facebook, xanga or one of those?
Sure, do you have a myspace, facebook, xanga or one of those social sites?
yes
Ronald J. Edwards
Trinity Ink
http://trinityinkexperiencestrengthandhope.blogspot.com
i am on facebook but are you saying close to 1300 people know you ,visit your sites and logged on to poetry showcase and read you poem all in about two hours ? So out of all your 14 poems that are only in the hundreds of readers why is this one so different and so quick. Are your other poems not also on your sight ? Sorry but I am not getting this ....
well
Why is it of concern? Theyre just numbers afterall, they mean nothing.
I had a few friends of mine forward the link to this poem, and i posted it on about 5 different websites. Where the others were only on my myspace, where i have around 900 people on my buddy list.
My apologies for your confusion, but frankly i just don't see why it matters. We dont get paid for views or anything from what i know.
But if you would like to share some poetry with me, id be more than glad to actually speak about our work together. In regards to why this poem in particular received the views it did, i see no point in discussing anymore.
to be honest
Ronald J. Edwards
Trinity Ink
http://trinityinkexperiencestrengthandhope.blogspot.com
i have been on this site for awhile and notice when well written poems get attention, most of us here certainly notice when a poem that posts and in a few hours gets soooooo many hits. No harm done, no money spent or made. Case in point the two mostly read poems here are off the hook with hits nearing 8000 kinda makes one wonder who's doing all the clicking :)
peace
ron
ok
Well, if your instigating that my work is not up to par with those others or dislike it than dont read it and stop replying, although, thats your personal opinion, but i have a decent following on the internet and receive constructive criticism which i pay attention too, as well as compliments on my work. As mentioned before, if you have nothing more than this to speak about and only wish to reply with your website to further garner attention, i have nothing more to say to you.
Have a nice night =)
oops
ooops
Sunshine...'
Nice thoughts, Thought lol!
I love the opening lines of this piece, it is very direct and has an energy/ pull which is attractive to the reader. I especially like the line 'your spirit is through...'
Nice work,
D
thank you i always try to
thank you i always try to pull readers in as soon as the poem starts and keep them drawed in
thanks for reading =)
Sorry but
Ronald J. Edwards
Trinity Ink
http://trinityinkexperiencestrengthandhope.blogspot.com
why has 2123 of your friends read your poem and only me and scarysquirrel commented ?
ok
Ronald, mind your business and stop harassing me about the views on this poem. If not, i will notify the admins on this site. Thank you.
PS - I have already explained why, you are asking a question which has already been answered.
Hi, Thought2012. I think you
Hi, Thought2012. I think you have some interesting poems, and you've obviously done well promoting your work on the internet.
Pay no attention to Ron. He bullies people a lot on this site. Keep on writing. Peace, NSF
Why
Ronald J. Edwards
Trinity Ink
http://trinityinkexperiencestrengthandhope.blogspot.com
Scarecrow,
must you always stick you nose into other peoples sites and comment about me ?
thank you i appreciate it.
thank you i appreciate it. sometimes people get defensive about the same thing they do then deny that they do it. i promote my poems alot, i click the link to my own poems as well so it can rise in the recently popular poems so more people can read it. i dont do it all the time, but it helps me get views. why should i be ashame to admit it? i posted this poem on 11 different websites, i compete in local tournaments i need peoples opinions. and this guy obviously has the nerve to not mind his own business. everyone on this website has good and bad poems including ron himself and me.
Look
Ronald J. Edwards
Trinity Ink
http://trinityinkexperiencestrengthandhope.blogspot.com
2012,
I was busting your chops, I admit it …but let me give you a piece of advice, write with heart, write with passion, you don’t need shock tactics and vulgarity to get attention, If your poems have substance and merit they will get attention. Scarecrow is immature and irresponsible with his comments, but that’s OK. I am grown man and have had a lot worse done and said to me, believe me. If you feel the need to promote yourself, well fine, knock yourself out.,but it is not necessary. No harm done 2012
i dont use too much
i dont use too much profanity in my lyrics, and i write them in the form of rap verses, so if you take a 4-interval beat and understand rythtym you can "rap" my lyrics to any beat. when i perform my lyrics i have alot of passion and heart, personally "emotion" is evoked through vocal performance (to me), so my words only paint the picture, i let my expressions add emotion and passion. i dont know anyone personally on this site so i have nothing negative to say about anyone, but there are good poems, great poems, and bad ones. i cant judge my own material because it would be bias like anyones own opinion on their own content, so comments and ideas about my poetry are of interest, i just dont understand why anyone is afraid to admit that they want attention on their stuff, we all do.
2012
Ronald J. Edwards
Trinity Ink
http://trinityinkexperiencestrengthandhope.blogspot.com
The profanity I was referring to was for scarecrow's sake , he likes to curse as a shock value, I said that for his benefit. I am not into rap but I am willing to try and say your lyrics again with that in mind. You say you perform, really, good for you. I like to hear people say , or rap :) their own poems. I think they are in each of our heads much differently then the way people read them.
2012 everyone wants attention and recognition, nothing wrong with that.
If you want to get to know people on this site start to read and give your comments . I’ve been here almost a year, I know many poets here and they know me. Many of them I talk with and email back and forth. Sometimes things can get off on the wrong foot, maybe kinda like you and me. Take some time, read a few poems, make a few comments… you gotta give attention to get attention. I’ll read your other stuff and drop in on ya from time to time.
Take care
ron
PS If you like songs read my " a hole in my soul" go to my blog site ( click rrje4019) click most recent poems, then scroll down and click on page 3 , i got about 100 poems posted here already... i wrote it with linkin park playing in the background it has a chorus and I have a melody in my mind for it, you'll see, let me know what you think ...
you and me did get off on
you and me did get off on the wrong foot, now i wouldnt mind communicating with you honestly. i will check your song out and comment it. and yeah i perform im currently working on a new album right now, i also produce hiphop/techno instrumentals and play acoustic guitar.
and i recently started commenting other peoples poems, not til the last week. its nice to share opinions and thoughts
olive branch
Ronald J. Edwards
Trinity Ink
http://trinityinkexperiencestrengthandhope.blogspot.com
that was yesterday, today is today :) Hey any of your songs available on the internet ? I'd give it a listen ...
keep reading and posting... put yourself out there for people to get to know
ron
Ron, I called you a bully
Ron, I called you a bully because there's been several times when someone else's work gets a lot of hits and you come into their comments section like "why is this getting so many hits?" It seems like you get jealous when someone else's blog gets more attention than yours. And you feel the need to call me names and insult me personally, which is very immature and bully-like.
Play nice on this site; offering constructive criticism is one thing and so is polite disagreement, but there is no need for petty jealousy and personal attacks. When you engage in this sort of behavior it discourages people from wanting to participate for fear they might be attacked personally or questioned about their hit totals if (heaven forbid) they get a lot of traffic. Chill out and stop being a jerk. However, I'm glad you and Thought2012 seem to have patched up your differences. Maybe underneath your exterior lies a decent person.
As for cursing for shock value, I disagree with that. My cursing is in context with the work. I'm sorry if you don't feel the same way. Peace, NSF "The Scarecrow"
Last Comments
One last thing, Ron. The people who created this site have done an amazing thing. They've given us a place to share our work with each other and the world. I'm very glad to have found this place. If you look into the FAQ section, the only thing they ask of us is to refrain from personal attacks and insults of fellow members. Constructive criticism and debate are OK but no personal attacks. You've violated this several times with your attacks on me. If you continue this sort of behavior, the admins will undoubtably catch wind of it and most likely will terminate your account. As a fellow poet, I wouldn't want to see that happen to you as I know you like this place, and so do I. Don't let your anger get the best of you. Chill out and please mind your manners towards fellow members.
These are my last comments to you as far as this subject goes. I'll be happy to discuss poetry or politics with you in a civil manner without name calling or insults. And feel free to email me personally if you want to talk. Otherwise, I think we should stop posting our disgreements in comments sections as it is deterring from the poems. Peace, NSF
Nothing wrong
Ronald J. Edwards
Trinity Ink
http://trinityinkexperiencestrengthandhope.blogspot.com
I have commented on hundreds of poems and as many poets. I have only questioned the amount of hits, when totally absurd, to three, the top three. Why you feel the need to defend them and call that questioning bullying? It is your opinion. Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one. I suggest you mind your own business and keep opinions to yourself if you don't agree. Simple !!! I am neither jealous nor need attention or a jerk, again your perception and opinion. As far as poets here being discouraged, again I do nothing but encourage.
Cursing is indeed your freedom of speech; I don't because I use descriptive words to express emotion, much harder and mature than just cursing. Be that as it may 2012 and me are fine.
The Bully
the reason me and ron
the reason me and ron patched up our little disagreement is because we both put mutual effort into realizing its a waste of time to argue hence it never got too personal. were all doing the same thing here, posting our work for others to see in hopes to receive comments and compliments, ideas and constructive criticism. (atleast i think).
bingo
Ronald J. Edwards
Trinity Ink
http://trinityinkexperiencestrengthandhope.blogspot.com
you're right on target :)
ron
ive seen a few e-battles
ive seen a few e-battles however lol on other forums and a few here nothing too crazy though on ths site. im young but i believe we need communication, in real life or on the internet these are just medians for us to experience eachother and our ideas, it could have gotten personal but nothing but negativity and hurt feelings would arise and thats no fun considering how bad (i believe) everyone needs to work on their thoughts and replace competition and egotism with optimism and community effort, maybe things will just work out better in the end.
another lazy saturday =/
whoa i didnt even click this
whoa i didnt even click this link once today...why did it get 900 views? wtf...im done promoting this poem lol whats going on...
----
Ronald J. Edwards
Trinity Ink
http://trinityinkexperiencestrengthandhope.blogspot.com
your welcome
haha shall i return the
haha shall i return the favor? my web browser can handle 999 tabs i think lol