No Chance
Is there really power in a lover's kiss?
Does it make you dizzy or ridiculously giddy?
Is it something I should never miss?
If the sun was my only kiss,would that be a pity?
Does it make you forget who you are?
Is it as dramatic as they make it in movies of romance?
If it does, maybe I'll just watch from afar
Live in a cottage in a forest of sun,leaving no chance.
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- SoulPoet31's blog
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Liked this a lot Abie...
David o Whalen good composition, great rhyme and rhythm. All hallmarks of a great writer. One line gave me pause though; "I'll lock my lips in a jar." Seems kinda' jarring itself. It just doesn't seem poetic like the rest of the poem. All good just as is, but you might think a bit about changing that one line. Great write! Way above the norm for this site.
Thanks!
Thanks, I'm glad you liked it. And thanks for the great advice for that one line. I changed it already.I had second thoughts on it but I have this risky habit of writing down the first thing that comes to mind. Usually it works out pretty well, but sometimes it proves a little too eccentric. Thanks for your compliments and advice! Much appreciated.
Abigail Joy
And thank you...
David o Whalen for not taking offense at my suggestion. Most poets just can't accept even the most innocent suggestions, so you are exceptional not only in your writing, but also in your understanding and maturity. Thanks for indulging an old man. Appreciate ya' Abigail. (the fix was perfect)
Well thanks!
Thank you. Part of my maturity comes form quotes. One that helps me not to take offense is the one,"We should be too big to take offense and too noble to give it." by Abraham Lincoln.
Plus I know that there's always room for tidying up in poetry, especially mine if it's as messy as my room.
Thanks for the advice and compliments to my character.
God Bless!
Abigail Joy