Maria's eyes were large and blue
She saw through you with them, too
She was always breaking things
But she had a soul that sings
The light in her eyes was dancing

She asked her mother questions
About the worth of time
And drank her fermented apple juice
Not knowing it was wine
But the fire in her eyes was climbing

Her father was tall, with jet-black hair
(for this, she wanted a reason
her hair was of the brightest blonde
she wanted an explanation)
He was angry with her questions
And cursed her to damnation

When she was grown, a little older
Her ghost appeared to her at night
And told of things she'd do in life
And told of things that would not go right
And she wanted an explanation
And was told it was her birth-rite
To be lovely, but not kind

Maria loved blackberries
And finding places to hide
She would stay under her bed for hours
Whispering to spirits of her own kind
And holding ants for ransom

And she would tell people of the colors
She saw inside her head
Her teachers called her unusual
(she had problems with other children, they said)

They sent her to a doctor
Who sent her to another doctor
Who told her why she lived in her mind
A bracelet on her wrist, and pills every morning
Told her she wasn't a usual child

Later Maria saw shadows
For the first time in her life
And found that she was blind
And frames were placed before her eyes

That summer, when she turned seven
She was sent down to California for some time
And put in big dresses
And sent to church
And told how to live her life right

Her grandmother was the normal kind
She baked her cookies and apple pies
And Maria learned a lot about life that summer
And it was the last time she could remember
Not having worries in her mind

Some nights when she would lay in bed before sleep
She'd listen to a song she knew wasn't about her
Written about a girl named Sweet Maria
And her lovely eyes
And how she was more beautiful than the sunrise

Maria closed her fiery eyes
Thought about the time that she tried to fly
And fell from a second story window
And she knew girls who fell did not get songs written about them

Because falling is failing, her father had said
And failing gets you nowhere in life

Maria's friend was Cowboy
(for he wore a cowboy's hat)
And she never learned his birth-given name
But she was fine with that
Because what you choose to call youself
Means more than what your parents saw when you were small

She and Cowboy found a way
To make a world of their own
She shared with him her ants and her spirits
And the shadows in her room
They dug for bones in her backyard
And one day found a tooth

Maria climbed up in a tree with him
And spoke nonsense to the birds
And what she had said, she told him
Meant something in some language
Somewhere in the world

Maria changed
And Maria grew
And Maria went through time
And forgot about spirits
And forgot about ants
And forgot about boys who wear cowboy hats

There came a day when she knew it was time
To make her life like it was in her mind
And pills flushed down the toilet each morning
Told her she was in control of her life

Maria slipped into a darker place
Looked in the mirror and saw an ugly face
She called herself a failure
And failing gets you nowhere in life

And she finally saw the white of the walls
And how the shadows had disappeared
From the corners and the closet in her room
And when she saw the sky
The clouds were grey
Instead of floating cities of white

She woke one night, her eyes like embers
Her mind full of memories
And what Maria remembered
Was that her father had smelled of Sundays and home
And he gave her glasses when she was blind
And showed her that the funny colored shapes
Were actually letters, and she read her first book
(unusually advanced for her age)
And now all they did was fight
And Maria knew it wasn't right

She climbed a mountain
And saw her life below her
Her house was a tiny box
Her school was a bigger tiny box
And Maria realized she didn't care
And never wanted to come down from there

So she was sent to another doctor
And given more pills
And given an answer
And told why there was darkness in her mind

And Maria counted the days
And Maria counted the hours
And Maria counted the seconds
But life went to slowly
And the end was too far in the distance

Someone found Maria in time
A boy with dirty hair and tight pants
But he told her she was kind
And he told her she was bright
And it was all that she had wanted

They had conversations about life
Over solitaire
About people staring
And his loud music
And the ghosts she saw at night as a child

He said a summer together would be nice
But summer came and he only wanted to get high
He asked her did she want to try?
Maria went swimming and looked up at the sky
And there weren't any clouds anymore
So Maria said goodbye

She let more people into her life
There was a boy who rode his bike
Another who left her for a guy
And another with hair red like fire
(this one she loved with passionate desire)

And she made a promise to herself
Not to let anyone look after her health
She was born to be a free spirit
No doctors and no pills could cure it