For the envy of evergreens
Her heels are stained the deepest pink
as she crushes his dead flowers
with her bare feet.
Always on her table, she hadn't thrown them out
even when they drooped on their stems,
their heads hanging like sad little people
huddled close inside a glass prison.
Her unruly hair is loosely pulled away
from her flushed cheeks and
the hot July sun beats down on her back through a window
as she scrapes the last
wilted petal
off the green linoleum.
Sweat from the sticky southern heat
hangs delicately on her brow,
and she's wondering why things so vibrant
always one day must go brown?
She envies evergreens
and wonders why she doesn't live in Oregon.
Green would be a welcome change
to the spiteful southern season.
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hot day
I found it a bit confusing, stanze one shes stepping on dead plants, stanza two their on the table but she doesn't remove them when their dying, but then stanza three she is burshing them off. Aside from that little mind game, the poem expressed a sense of a dull hot day, this girl/person thinking on how time/seasons causes constant change the life around them and wishes to be an evergreen.
"Were it not for shadows, we would learn to hate the light."
thanks for the feedback
yeah, i thought it might be confusing but wasnt sure, maybe i will edit it and repost.
It was supposed to capture a girl whose kept a boys flowers for the longest time until he breaks her heart...i dont know if htat came through though
confusion
I think I'd leave it "as is" the confusion and heartbreak are there. The sultry day adds to the misery and suffering, the depression is evident. Good pen, kinda sad, but I like it!~Ron
*"whenever in doubt, dream...inspiration will happen when you least expect it.." r/k 2-2009
http://Ron_Kinard.tripod.com/