Lying on the floor,
Cold and alone,
There’s room in the bed,
But I know what you said,

If I go into warmth,
Your fingers will search,
The guilt will compress,
The shame results,

Come to bed,
It’s warmer up here you say,
When you kiss me,
I gag silently,

Your tongue shoving down my throat,
Was just the beginning of our game,
Smothering me from age 6,
Nobody tried to fix,

I remember the exact moment,
Where my life changed forever,
Your cold hard fingers,
Wouldn’t take no for an answer,

Your warm breath,
On my throat,
Your long hair,
I wanted to pull out,

You cannot fathom,
My own apprehension,
I’ve been tainted,
While you stimulated,

The smell of moisturizer,
As you smoothed on my skin,
Your hands searching,
Claiming my soul within,

At age 14,
I buried you out back,
Years of guilt,
Turning my heart black,

Heavy on my chest,
Memories confine me in chains,
One foot in front of the other,
Remember to act sane,

Almost 20,
Every day my ghosts haunt me,
Every day they still take everything,
Every day I’m still continuing.