Evensong
Remarkably pompous, keen
Upon the chapel gates they lean
A mass of seagulls, stout and strong -
Contemplating ‘Evensong’
Whilst waiters dart along the floor
With tables primed, for three or more
St Edith’s bells will peal at last
Recoil and watch the tourists pass
Through rich-lit doorways, dipped and doused
For Londoners to fill their mouths
With ‘jolly speak’, and ‘jolly rhyme’
Their hearts well-oiled in prayer sublime
Though some will shunt and shin aboard
Make known their grievance with the lord
The pipes may sleep and cymbals slow
Tis pain, that they would whimper so?
Yet peering through the alter clear
I sense the saints approaching, near
“Come on! Come on! Come on! Let’s dance”
The sun is setting over France.
© Deborah Gordon 2009
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Sacraments
You know Debs I have always thought of writing something as such to explain how I have experienced going to church, watching the rituals with everyone in unison “scraping their shins for their sins”. You have done an excellent job here. Outstanding references and metaphors of seagulls and waiters with tables primed for the three as in The doctrine of the Trinity. I enjoyed this write, thanks for sharing
:)
ron
"It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to." W.C. Fields
Thank You
Thank you so much for your generous words here Ron. I'm so glad you were able to appreciate the references, and that it drew on your own experience of church in some way.
I really enjoyed writing this particular piece.
Debs ~
The closest
I came to writing about church was "If the washing doesn’t get you the rinsing will " which is about baptism. Give it a read if you have the time and let me know what you think.
ron
"It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to." W.C. Fields
Okey Dokey
Will do :.)
Very visual...
I find it very visual. I can imagine the gothic church, full of people, yet empty and resonant. And the link to France makes me think of the sea between England and France, like in some sort of christening of the sun in the cool water, in the evening.
Nice view of the church, cool and clear.
But, does the sun set over France (as seen from England), or is there something more profound to it ? (France is to the East)
Interesting Thoughts..
I'd never quite veiwed it in that way before. I suppose when I wrote it I was envisaging the person already being in France....Looking at the scene of the day unfolding and the subsequent 'Call to Mass'
....It is really about my own experience, and my memories of being there.
Thanks so much for the thoughtful feedback here.
Debs ~
Debs
Interesting piece. Very visual indeed as the previous commenter said. I like flow and the ending with the sun setting.
But, please, don't get me started on seagulls... It must be their mating season here because they are freaking out and making tons of noise and waking me up every damn morning!!!!
Thanks Friend
I wanted to make it visual so that the reader could grasp a sense of the scene and the feel of the poem. The last lines are like a declaration in a way, something joyous and praiseworthy
"come on come on come on Lets dance!.....'
Seagulls, don't I know it lol!
Living a stone's throw away from the beach they tend to wake me up almost every morning aswell.
Debs ~
remarkable indeed
by just reading you gave us the experience of being there
thinking so, a sure delight...
its a good good read,
clairejane
Thank You!
Thank You so much Claire, You're always so generous with your comments,
It's always a pleasure to hear from you :.)
Debs ~
Nice
I really like this poem. Great write
:.)
Thanks for your kind comment TRYeager,
Nice to meet you!
DEbs~