The pallbearers stepped ceremoniously
in their overly starched suits of black .
Down the stairs with a largish teak coffin ,
bagpipes blaring all around .
Six men for one jolly little plumper .
Too bad she never got so lucky in life .

Then , tragedy strikes .

Sorry dear ! Murphy's law you know .

The lead man trips over ,
sprawling face first into a bunch of pink posies ,
for a mouthful of mother nature .
They all stumble down .

The coffin tips at absurd angles ,
like some extreme sport , awkwardly vertical ,
as the lid shoots off .
While suddenly , old Agatha seems to burst with life ,
flying forth and landing upon a young child .

Help ! he cries , the old bag bit me !

The gathered mass stares agape in mortified disbelief .
Her blue handbag crashes
through the main floral arrangement .
It's contents spewed harshly about all over .
One notable item is swiftly retrieved by a young hand .

Look mummy !

The mother proceeds to look at the dentures
and promptly faint cold .

There lying silently between two pews ,
once more through the pallid ghostly lips ,
is revealed that haunting coffee stained smile .

After the funeral they head to the local restaurant .
In fact , the only one in town .
They sit and recall fondly this kind plump old lady ,
who would offer cookies to the kids .
Until a nephew happened to choke on one
but not to worry no one liked him anyhow .

Once , someone relates ,
she sat on her pet cat puffy ,
a huge grey persian severely overfed ,
and wondered why the seat cushions were so uncomfortable .
Poor thing either died of fright ,
or just got plain squashed flat .

Oh , my poor dear puffy !

He looks like a furry pancake now .
But all was well after she had him stuffed .
Though puffy still looked lopsided from certain angles .

The waitress then arrives and leans over to serve drinks .
As she smiles what is probably her average greeting face ,
a set of coffee stained teeth stand out .

Everyone just stares silently while crossing themselves ,
and muttering saving graces .

Old memories die hard .