There we stood at the top of the stairs in the doorway,
our bedroom for the next month.
Robert, James and me, a single and a double.
I might have been the youngest but a far cry from dumb
“ I got dibs on this one” as I jumped head long to the right
onto the single bed.

There’s an unwritten law to calling “dibs”
that has to be honored, even with brothers.
Otherwise I would have been thrown off
and kicked underneath.

Their bed was to the left, centered on the wall
beneath a picture covering wall paper
from the turn of the century.
Double hung windows were in the far corners
split by the chimney rising up from the kitchen downstairs.

Ah the chimney, there sat at the base on the floor
a blue marbled metal pot, lid included.
That’s when Grandma made her entrance.
“ Just warms my heart to see ya’ll getting along right nice and
brotherly like. Tend to ya clothes, hangers in the closet.”
It was then she walked to the pot, picking it up,
commencing with its purpose.

“It gets awfully dark at night,
I knows how nature calls during the wee hours,”
she snickered at the soon to be understood pun
“so I wants you to do your business here,
in the pot, number one of course.
Mind the wall.
If you have to do your number two then
ya’ll have to step lightly down the stairs
to the commode. Quite as a house mouse.
Don’t want to wake Grandpa.”

Off she went leaving us to try
and figure out what just went on.
“Number one, number two,
What’s she counting for?
Does she want us to pee in the pot,
and in the middle of the night?
What the heck is a commode?”
Robert and James looked at me, I looked at them.
Then we all broke out laughing
till tears rolled down our checks.

Night fell and God threw a black blanket
over the house. Grandma wasn’t kidding around,
black is black , no stars, no moon, no shadows.
Robert and James tried to get some sleep
But Robert was itching and twitching
like a farm hand under the noon day sun
wearing a wool suit.

With pillow in hand he made his way
to the bed in the hall, saw that coming a mile away.
Just as I was about to say hello to the sandman
A screech owl flew by our window,
bout scared the bejeebez out of me.
As luck would have it, the lonely pot
wanted company and it was calling my name.

I pushed the sheets off and rolled to my left,
made my way to the end of the bed.
Then I did my impersonation of a
blind man crossing Fifth Ave at rush hour.

Reaching down I found the pot, lifted the lid.
followed by the aroma of Pinesall as it filled my nose.
It was then, at that exact moment that I knew how
George Lucas must have gotten his idea for Star Wars
The voice inside my head said “Ronnie, use the force”

Well I ain’t no Jetti Knight or Luke Starwalker.
I pissed all over the wall and floor
spilling the Pinesall, dropping the metal pot
with a bang and a clatter.

Just as I thought it couldn’t get any worse
the light came on
Grandma standing in the doorway,
her in her night gown
me with my PJ’s around my ankles
holding my light saber, more like a match stick.

“Honey child, pull up your draws, put down the pot
and go back to bed, I’ll tend to that in the morning”
Out went the light, and Grandma was gone.
As I sat on the bed I thought to myself,
“This is going to be a long summer …”

Copyright © 2008 Ronald J. Edwards