Simple as turning a key
Shutting off an engine.
This isn't an engine,
Not a car or a machine.
Shutting myself fown,
Cutting myself off
From the pain of feeling.
Dissociating the reality,
Replacing you with my fantasy,
With my dream.
I can't tell you what happened,
I'm not completely sure myself.
Bits and pieces,
Fragments,
Are there,
Not by choice.
I remember your grip,
The sting,
Your weight.
I remember your touch.
No, I don't remember,
To remember implies at a paint and time
I forgot.
I have not forgotten,
I have not forgiven.
Can I forgive you?
Is it possible?
Do you deserve it?
I don't think so.
I can't deal with the pain.
You had no remorse,
You helped me not to feel.
In the end,
The memories are the feelings,
They bring the pain.
The fragmented images
Speak for themselves.
They alone tell the story.
Time to go into my mode,
Time to shutdown.
This is my drug,
My addiction.
Withdrawing,
My Shutdown.