Mum you are so clear
You came to me last night
Climbing my sisters stairs
In dim and unshed light.

I was so pleased to see you
As two years had gone by
And no one who was supposed to
Told me you were going to die.

I loved you so very much
But we were never allowed to be
Too close because of my sister
Because she did not like to see.

Us smiling and having a giggle
Or talking of things that we enjoyed
I know that if she could have
Our care she would have destroyed.

Now all I have are some memories
Of you as you used to be
Some photos, a few little items
That were graciously given to me.

But I see that the rings are missing
From the box that she gave me that day
The ones that I bought you for presents
Are gone, what can i say.

The funeral was a fiasco
I was given specific instructions you see
Not to send flowers or dress up
Above all not to be 'me.'

So my brother nor I gave you flowers
And he did not come from abroad
I went in jeans that I wore every day
And my jacket you liked made of cord

Only to find at the service
People smartly suited and dressed
I prayed that you knew what was happening
And why I was not looking my best.

I love you so much my darling
Please forgive me for not saying goodbye
Heavens avenue is covered in blossom
And we will walk down it again you and I.