time's knife slides from its sheath
grown weary of loving only memories..
his presence a grenade
detonating
love might had made me generous or selfless
but I had not been either
discussion of the past invited pain
the rage of words left unsaid
someone whom I was fated to have loved
foolish to imagine we could continue any conversation without mentioning the worst between us
words corrupt and oxidize love
my memory full of rust and decay
truths more felt than spoken
I have always been faithful to you,
if faithful means the experience against which everything else has been measured
a sudden longing
instantly drowned
passion erodes and enhances character in equal parts instantly
his taste reminding me now of a thousand others
exultant sense of love regained
of a finite amount of time
I would like to think that we had existed outside of real time
a thing apart and not invade
foolish and dangerous
it has already invaded every part of my life
you who would liberate me only to possess me
the return of a chronic illness
this bout fatal
as I know it must be