What you never understood
And I deigned not to tell you
For the knowledge would ruin
What little we claim to have
And the solitary comfort
That it was not for nothing
Would in truth be as false as
The falsity you think true
Everything you still believe
To understand about me
Is but careless lies built up
Into a distorted mask
That I pretend not to wear
While flaunting its appearance
As if somehow it were me
And while others may be fooled
Whom I sought to fool the most –
Myself – knows it to be lies
And though I fight to tear it
I know I will not, for you
Who in ignorance loves it
Even as what’s hidden dies
Choked while the lies keep living
And the worst part in my mind
Even could I free myself
You would find another mask
For simple lies exist not
And while layered on my heart
I can not even be sure
If I still exist beneath
Or if it even matters
And do you wear a mask too?
Have I wasted lies on lies?
If I can not know myself
What are lies and what is me
I can never know for you
Sometimes I find I can’t care
And somewhere under these masks
That scares me the most of all
Yet conversely fear brings hope
That perhaps I still exist
Somewhere below these trappings
That I willingly inflict
And even as I still play
This nameless act nought but lies
I wish with what heart remains
That for even one moment
All our lies could be revealed
And what we had both hidden
Could be brought forth into sight
So that when we made judgements
On everything seen after
We could, at least, know that we
Do not judge each other true
But only these hated masks
That even as we despise
We and them forever joined
For though we can’t live with them
We would die should others gaze
Upon unprotected selves
And if I speak in riddles
Forgive me, for this belief
Is the greatest mask I wear
So then why do I still hope …