Liquid Demons
Sitting, sighing, smoking, drinking,
She thinks I can’t hear the bottle clinking.
Light stays on til early hours,
A spell she’s under, in its power.
Every night it is the same,
Til morning comes and she feels the pain.
Head is cloudy, groggy, sore,
And she tells herself, This, no more.
Night comes back and she is sober
The scene plays out once more, once over,
Waiting, watching, the door stays shut,
Locked in there, stuck in this rut.
Hide it, hoard it, keep it near,
Keep it safe, Reduce the fear.
Suspicious eyes, they’ll only say,
How she drinks her life away.
Alone with thoughts she gulps some more,
And wonders what she does this for.
But as sun sets each night the same,
Alone she drinks, it numbs the pain
Married to this demon drink,
The more consumed, the more she sinks,
The more it gnaws at her insides,
The more it forces her to hide.
Away from lectures, angry voices,
In this bottle are her choices.
Help her now as in she stumbles,
Slurring words, incoherent mumbles.
We all have one within our life,
Who battles with this lonely strife.
We all know someone it its grasp,
But help we must til their last gasp.
If only they knew how we cared,
The one we knew now so impaired.
If only they would just relent,
These liquid demons that sap her strength.
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Musel
Ronald J. Edwards
Trinity Ink
http://trinityinkexperiencestrengthandhope.blogspot.com
You see she drinks
its not by choice,
I do not lie
please hear my voice.
These things go on,
booze is her master,
take it from me
I’ve lived disaster.
Cunning, baffling, trickery
It lives inside her head,
keeping her in deep despair,
it wants her to be dead.
It is a disease that tells her
that she has no disease at all.
Denial of reality
will be her greatest fall.
Suffered much,
I had the pain
of drinking every day.
Tell her that
there is relief,
a softer easier way.
In response to Ronald J. Edwards
“A softer, easier way” you say, but she can’t see this light,
I understand the process but it’s a war that I can’t fight.
I’m simply an outsider trying to throw a rope,
To someone who is slipping down a sliding, greasy slope
For how does one help someone who refuses to believe?
That changing now forever, can give her a reprieve,
When I try to broach the subject in many different ways,
I’m met with cold demeanor that says, “Leave it, not today.”
So put it off again until, I bring it up once more,
Retreat again she will of course, behind the safety of her door.
Your good advice while meaning well does not change things at all,
For only she can help herself from this, a lonely fall.
I commend you for coming through your difficult ordeal,
It’s nice to hear from someone who has battled this for real.
But the cold and harsh reality of this unhappy tale,
Is that a cycle built over 20 years is difficult to curtail.
Its not your fight ...
Ronald J. Edwards
Trinity Ink
http://trinityinkexperiencestrengthandhope.blogspot.com
Mussel, she has to want it. Neither you nor anyone else can make her. It is called getting “as desperate as the dying can be” that will make her want to get sober. Until she is ready nothing will change. Enabling her will not help her either, so no more money or car keys or trips to the store to buy her booze. Let her know if she drives you are calling the police for her safety and the safety of the community. Let her know she is on her own when it comes to all that. I do suggest that you not try to make her do anything but offer your support when she does want to. Let her know that there is a softer easier way and that she does not have to drink anymore a day at a time. This could be done during an intervention with other family and loved ones. There are 12 steps where the softer and easier way can be found. It is a spiritual, not a religious, way of life. If you want to talk more email me rrje4019@msn.com
Steps
To climb the stairway to heaven,
it’s one step at a time.
My faith I do hold onto,
a handrail thru subtle and sublime.
My entry was in question,
because I was most inept.
I thought all was together,
uncontrollably I wept.
Looking within I did believe
I was lord and master.
There had to be a greater one
if sanity would replace disaster.
My inner force found new direction,
the One I came to know.
Discarding baggage I did not need
now easier to go.
There came a need to concede
all my errand ways,
and to allow so to proceed
without them in my days.
Yet there remained a scantly few
spots on the blank oaktage.
Again a request to please remove
this slightly soiled rag.
My errors caused hurt feelings
a long record I did make.
Sorry was not good enough
this Icould not fake.
In traveling up the stairs of life
if a breast one came to be,
I had to be ready of what to say
without hurting them or me.
I did not know I had big feet
and stepped on many toes.
I had to look down and realize
the blame was on my boughs.
To improve my progress
it came time for me to ponder,
with out fully knowing Him
I would get lost and wander.
My consecration does depend
following this intel.
I must return to help all that are
coming up this stairwell.
Copyright © 2007 Ronald J. Edwards
Wow Musel...
that was emotional and real words you wrote...this was a good example and story of the typical drinker, and you worded everything so well,....I especially liked the 1st, 4th and the 6th stanza....it was a really good read all in all....peace.
Mate
All I can say is good luck - I know how much the demon drink can take over, someone should seriously consider abolishing alcohol. Your poem is sad but true. What the fuck can you do?
hey Sara....some one did abolish alcohol....
God did and alcohol isnt and never was a concern for my family or friends, but my non muslim grandmother died from this liquid demon and I witnessed her dying before my eyes when I was only nine.....ever since, I realized the wisdom behind why this was made forbidden....so so sad....but like you said, what can you do, I think the poem describes this demonic issue so well and so full of thought and feeling.
thank you
Thank you all for your kind comments and support on this write, Obviously it is a difficult subject as for many of us it is very close to home. It is for this reason that i wrote it, as a way of explaining the issue to myself but also as I'm sure many people can relate to it on some level