Beware of the yellow thesaurus, dears,
For it will make you say strange things.
Idiographic, probabilistic
Hippopotamonstrosesquippeddaliophobia,
And the confutative of the callipygian masochist.

Fear them, fear them!
The rotten breaded zucchini,
They lost their virginity
To the rabid lemon fanfiction.

And the bald Irish men
In such colorful clothes--
The children told them they were queer.
So with the lemon,
The locked the kids in a closet
And were sued under the 14th act of the British Bill of Rights.

"Hoo-rah, hoo-rah!"
Says the military man;
Bad dubbing of Japanese animation.
And under the 13th act
Of the old Magna Carta,
He was sued as well.

"Lawyers and lemons and lime, oh my!"
Said the bittersweet satire news.
He died of a bad pizza pie that he got
From the mustache of grandfather time.

An old architect
With STDS, carpal tunnel,
And allergies
Put my great-grandaughter in his will.
Too bad I'll never never have one,
Since I'll never be married;
'Cause I'm 58,
Old as the hills.

Maybe I'll get me a sweet young lad
Who'll take me out to dates...
On the first one,
I'll slip something in his margarita,
And blame my psychotherapist for the rape.

When they take me to court,
My mom will just die of shock,
And I'll have to avenge her death...
So I'll round up the emo kid, the disgruntled house cat,
And the social worker to do my bidding

For 28 yen an hour.

It'll turn me into an old lady with a grudge,
So watch your backs, you young flashy girls!
Old people will dominate this universe
With aphrodisiac, throwing stars, and popcorn.

"Wasn't that a nice Bedtime story, Jane?"