the night you left slowly fast,
i remember me sitting head by your chest.
when you twitched your eyes opened mom.
i told the hospice nurse, she said that meant you were gone.
i still feel the devestation, me hiting the floor.
i knew your death was coming, yet inside i thought youd last like before.
at that moment i felt so alone,
wanting my siblings there
with head on hands , knees on floor i cryed out in despare.
it hasnt goten easier yet to deal with this loss.
as ready as i thought i was, i didnt know the cost.
embedded with reality, yet still looking for you.
i scream inside everyday. mom, i yearn to talk to you.
as selfish as i may seem, i dont really care.
the loss of you, is a loss of me and alot of nightmares.
as i sit and stair with emptyness inside, the pain too hard to bare,
i ask Jesus to help me, yet He took you so does He really care?
there are days i try not to think of you, trying to clear my mind,
but when it comes down to it, your dead and theres nothing i can do.
but mom i will always and forever love and miss you!