This poem is dedicated to an old friend,who will stay forever young and safe at the age of fifteen...I survived,she didn't.Dear,I cannot say that I would gladly take your place,because that would not be honest,but If I could turn back time,i would be there more for you
so you could shoulder the cruel words and taunts of these assholes.

I hope the angels let you in...
love
-M

I hold the razor close to my wrist,
i bet the blade can feel the blood in my veins
enraged like some savage beast
bound in ropes and chains.

Looking at the future ahead,I see grey,I see grief.
I see me in robes of disgrace,ashamed and forsaken
watching as my life becomes dry and stiff
and everything I love is taken.

They want to judge me,but no fairly
tame my youth and kill my soul
torturing me and hurting me daily
until I forget my goal.

Test me with a piece of paper,tell me if I deserve to live.
Put a number next to my name to call me with it.
Sorry I wasn't born to suffer,sorry I wasn't born to deceive
Sorry I wasn't born to see my passions turn to shit.

I don't cut because I'm a psycho,neither because I'm ill
I know that you're too big and powerful to hurt you
so I hurt my self when I can't bear what I feel.
I sacrifice my flesh and blood to remain true.

Don't tell me I'm overeacting,don't say I'm too young to think
I don't care,the pain is still quite severe
as I look into your cold eyes,eyes that don't even blink.
I suffer,but I try not to drop a single tear.

You play with my stress,you say I'm left behind.
you say you can destroy me if you please.
I dare you to do so,I don't mind.
Here comes the winged, silver blades of release.

I dig and dig with my fingers the wound that drips rivers of red
Like I'm searching for treasure,all I discover is blood and skin.
I can't move anymore,Roses blood on my bed...
May Jesus forgive me If I commited a sin.

I see a light,a light so pale and pure
I must reach it but my legs are numb,I stay still.
it is mine,my salvation,my cure.
The light that drove me to kill.

My vision turns slowly clearer,and I'm in a white room.
a hospital, my arms are tied on the bed.
Bandaged my wrist,in blood I spelled my doom
I will stay here,imprisoned until I'm truly dead.