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I write this in hopes that you'd read it. I'm sorry.

Posted September 26th, 2009 by MAIspace

And I write this to you, in hopes that you'll read it.
PS.

"sorry" is just a word because the dictionary says so.
and the only reason, I want to use it
is because it's the only word that relates to the emotion I have right now.
Like "love", it is the emotion you put into it, that creates it. words are words.

Truth speaks:
I am not me
or whatever it is that you defined me to be
So I ask that you please stop assuming
I am not one to show vulnerability.
I am rare to push any emotion out of me
But when I do..
constant changing.
confusing you,
and leaving you
questioning.
And I assure you that I am not cheating.
but no promises are to be made, that I won't be leaving
friendships start with trust
and I refuse to continue such LUST
masking the very thought of what
could be A
soon to be called "LOVE"
IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT
and I'm aware of this
and sometimes I feel like there's something wrong with me.
cause these emotions won't stay CONSTANT.
and it's selfish of me to keep asking you to
BARE WITH IT
my feelings run deep in the sea
and often get lost
due to ANXIETY
..and that fear
stuck in my head,
that one day you'll run off and leave me
along with the emotions i fed you


emotions run crazy
and I can't explain it.
one day I want you, and the next
I'm pushing.
AWAY.
away further than the tides hitting sands of its destination.
but for some reason, i can't let go
THOUGHTS BRANDED AND PRESSED into my head
that you couldn't
or.. that you wouldn't
want to deal with it.


maybe it's good that we don't have a title
'cause i'm left in realizations that trust is merely
imaginary,
wished for,
and simply an illusion.
we, in different parties,
lacking common ingredients to make something sweet
pouring out everything we had,
to end up incomplete.

change is made by will.
change is made by motivation.
and change will remain as a rejection
if the seed of trust wasn't even planted in the first place.

I'm done with trying to make something
when things on my part are fucking broken.
i'm sor
ry.

"sorry" is just a word because the dictionary says so.