the twisting turning hatred
of the unknown suppression
crawls under my skin
refuse from my internal battle
pretending that everything is fine
when it has all turned to shit
this is the fucking crap that i despise
with every fiber of my being
the fear keeps me up at night
all day i force myself to care
i focus on what i see and hear
drowning out the voices in my head
i imagine being there but want to run
i am far from anywhere
i act as if i am right there
i know that i must forget
make believe is so hard
can’t i give into my fear
suppose to be a good soldier
crying, whining is self indulgent
letting depression seep into my being
shows weakness and dysfunction
who is to say how i need to act
when am i betraying myself
this duplicity is a hollow gesture
discontent fills me with revulsion
a need to desecrate the normal
drowning in my own pity
searching for significance
overwhelmed by responsibilities
fueled by outrageous commentary
going to the edge
seeking the extreme
taking it one step too far
absurdity of the ignorant
hoping to find the endgame
a loose cannon on the prowl