time. slipping fluidly from my hands. you steal it selfishly from me.
I need it. so far behind. need time to catch up.
you say, "but you can't catch up. you'll forever be behind. even if you are your own superhero you will not win. "
Leave Me Alone! i will succeed.
but so hard. drowning. not enough air.
a breath, then waves you send my way.
I feel constantly kicked. you make me want to be kicked.
no contact. no contact, and I gain time.
I want to dangerously reach out and control other parts of my life, and you goad me on.
sleep, my precious commodity, you taunt me into giving up. letting me think that will help to get time.
extreme discomfort, excrutiatingly desparate thoughts. constant anger.
Will this be my life?
Eternally losing life one drop at a time?
It feels like brain surgery with no pain meds or anesthesia.
I see only one way out, but that light shines dim right now in the kingdom of darkness.
Why can't you just leave me alone?