This bird (need some suggestions)

This Bird doesn't fly right
This bird has the flu
This bird was born with
no eyeballs
what ever will it do?

This bird doesn't sing
something's the matter
surely
This bird has broke his
wing
because he left the nest
too early

This bird has an advantage
so young this bird did crack
it made her take to learning
every soul has got a lac.

Copyrighted October 2008

birds

Hey Coyote, I'm being extremely wacky today, so the only suggestion I could offer would be to include a disco-dancing pelican or a flamingo with an afro flying a kite. There is a critical poetry forum on here if you want critique or suggestions. I like the idea and think it could be expanded a bit. But don't let me edit it or somebody's gonna get naked and hit in the face with a flyswatter cuz that's where I'm at right now.

Well...Okay!

I'm new here so I don't know where to go. My therapist can read auras hahaha. seriously.

suggestions

Ok first off I would change the title to "This Bird is Cock-Eyed" which could be used to explain how he lost his eyes hahahaha

Then work into the last stanza that this bird thinks he's a duck and walks around saying "AFLAC"

OK that's all I got for now :)

ron

The only time I look down on another is when I am bending to help them up.

AFLAC!!!

well okay thank you.

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