black and white drawn in shades of gray
a melancholy retrospection
why didn’t I…
what if I had…
what if I had never……

there’s a whiskey on the rocks sweating circles on the table

i wait
nylon knots grip tight along my skin
eyes closed
the shivers start before you can begin
legs braced
exquisite tension only you can bring
head bowed

sweet saints
why’d I wear this stupid shirt
these stupid shoes

you hid the news that you’d be here
when we spoke yesterday
and this morning

the occasional encounter
innocuous

do you even know it hurts us
to see you bitter
and angry
in your loneliness?

hostility replaced civility
somewhere along the way
and compromise
came to mean
giving up

nothing went

Country music in the air
while coffee's brewing in the kitchen-
Marty Robbins, Lefty Frizelle
even old Hank Williams now and then.

His cowboy hat's pushed way back,

Yesterday
I rode my bike up the hill
so I could ride it back down
faster.

I picked all the flowers
from the wild patch of clover
in the front yard
and I didn't get stung by a bee.

leather
soft with use
restraining movement
when i'm in too deep
to stand unaided

nylon twists
circling
knotting
binding me together
when i threaten to fly apart

submit to Me

help me

tears like rain
like sand
sweeping minutes away
falling
days, now years,
gone.

can it really be years?
didn't think i'd make it a week

we still speak
every day

in my head
a room with no windows
a locked door

disjointed
strobe flashes
still images and

sound and motion

I hear you breathing

standing above me
fingers on my hair
I shake