A woman chose to talk to me yesterday,
Look, says she,please don't think I am being nosey
Or one of those ,-whatever 'one of those' is.-
I have seen you many times in the library in the poetry section
In think you must be an artist or a poet and seem
To be a very interesting person, do you write poetry?
Madam I said, I spend most of my time in bed!
Secondly, I am an extremely interesting person, then,
The main thrust of her intentions-I am a Christian she says
And want to tell everyone about Jesus Christ, do you know
Just how much he loves you, she asked. I would rather
You love me, I said, and solve a very pressing need right now.
You need help she replied looking sad-eyed.
May I ask what you do with yourself first thing in the morning
She continued, I don't, I replied, I stopped that when I was five
My mother said it would drive me blind and now I am old
My left hand is completely numb.
I think we are talking about two different things says she,
I pray first thing, how about you?
I can't get through, says I with a filthy grin, the reply I get is
I am busy right now, leave a message after the bleep and I will get
Back to you as soon as I can.
What do you do in the evening, she now asks me, (I am getting
Somewhat uneasy and annoyed. In the evening I stand
On a chair wearing my underwear on my head and recite poetry
With my trousers round my ankles, whilst playing Rackmaninoffs'
Concertos on a Jews' harp, at the same time a pet
Baby elephant borrowed from the local zoo keeps
Time with its foot on my back...
Go on lady I said. ask me what I do in the afternnoons
No thanks you dirty old man she says.. I will tell you anyway,
I stand outside the local churches wearing only a billboard
With two words on LYING FUCKERS!!!
the incredible thing about this intimate encounter of the most
Alarming kind, was a librarian, of the same gender
Approaches with, I understand you intimidated one of our patrons.
Really, says I, a lie, she, in fact intimidated me with some shit
About a guy she knows called Jesus...something who was supposed
To be in love with me.....she asked me to leave the library at once.
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