This may well be termed a piece of useless infomation
But worth a sharing, it concerns a distant learning programme
In the Theological/Religious Faculty of one of New Zealand's
Foremost Universities. It was a weekly thing per the phone.
I never had a phone nor any form of electrical power!
I walked 8 kilometers to a a public phone booth where I squatted
Down on a soft towel I carried for the purpose. It was next
To the main highway that carried all the truckies to destinations north.
A letter arrived from this learned faculty and with extraordinary
Clarity said:-
' I have just listened to a tape of the Theology audio
conference held on Monday 14 August 2000, and this
after countless entries in the audio log book of endless
problems experienced by all lecturers and participants,
of the awful bedlam of noise from your connection.
We could hear many other people shouting obscenities
And you having two-way conversations with some other
parties. This was accompanied by the roar and thunderous
sounds of heavy trucks and sounding horns intermingled
with the often wail of police cars and ambulances.
This has caused immense difficulties and distractions to
our lecturers and students who can't hear anything
because of the excessive noise. The ideal solution is for
us to mute your phone the momnt you clock-on. You
obviously have not read or understood the Course Work Book.
"Instructions for Distant Learning Students" If you have any
problems you should contact the head of the Department
Professor( 'so and so')-name withheld-incase of repercussions.!

This seemed an unusual form of letter because it was obvious they
Had the problems, not me, sure, countless irate people would arrive
To use the phone-box and open the door to berate me with a spate
Of invective and filthy language,naturally I would retaliate the very same.
The University, I felt, failed to see a highly motivated student with a love
Of God-knowledge-Theology who walked 8 kilometers to a cold,lonely
Phone-box and squatted down for two hours unable to rise with a
Numbed arse and unuseable legs! I know you are going to say, 'what
The fuck is this guy giving us, this is not poetry'but, its is a story with
A moral, don't dabble in Theology from a phone-box, just think, I could
Have tried to telephone the Almighty but would probably heard the answer
Phone.'look, I am very busy right now, but leave a message and I will
Get back to you as soon as possible.' Well, why not.

I felt I just had to share this with any of you who get some enjoyment
Out of reading me, because a few moments ago I came across the
Last and final epistle received from one of the learned professors whose
Handwriting was shocking, unreadable, I did discern words like,'this
Is not the answer we require, you obviously have'nt a clue as to the
Nature of the question, this is a sermon you have written here.'.the rest of
His ramblings was obscure and unreadable, I returned it marked F-(minus).
*
P.S The Associate Professor of the faculty did call to see me on a lecture
tour to Auckland , and this to check out my sanity, I feel sure!
Naturally, I never heard from them since that day to this. I no
longer believe one word Theologians say,especially about God.