The look in my own eyes is starting to frighten me. There is an evil behind them that does not belong to me. I can feel it. Every time I twitch, every vibrating/numb sensation in my legs. I know that something is not right. I heard music today and I felt that the evil has certainly returned. I’d rather die than to live with this demon inside.

It’s summer already? Is it? Oh gash, I had no idea. What? It’s July 4th? Where have I been? I haven’t been around all year. What? Did I enjoy last Summer? No, I didn’t. I remember nothing of it. The one before that was the Summer of woe. The one before that was the summer I was fat. That was the summer when I lived on laxatives and ice cream. How will I celebrate this glorious holiday of our Shit-Nation’s independence? I’ll probably take a nap. Alcohol, yeah. The bottle will be with me and my soul will continue to mourn. My soul mourns for its own emptiness. My brain wonders if there was ever anything there to begin with. I’m sure there was. It has been chewed apart and spit out.

It’s that time of year. That time of year when everything is morbid. The ocean taunts me from TV weather channels. We’ve been apart for so long. This is the time of year when I realize that everything has been a waste. I’ve let myself go. I haven’t made any friends. I haven’t seen enough light. I’ve spent too much time in bed/escaping from the tomb that I’ve created for myself. What is to become of me? I don’t know. I don’t want to know. I can’t fight this that much longer.