Broken Pollyanna

Oh my god, I'm melting,
I'm dripping on the floor.
My heart is leaking openly,
A breakdown's at the door.

My body starts to shudder,
My bones begin to quake,
My nervous system's shutting down,
My shell disintegrates.

The pieces that have fallen,
Reflect the pain I've known,
Liquified emotion,
Drips into a flow.

This feeling is so awkward,
Panic starts to rise,
Memories beat my consciousness,
From which, I wish to hide.

It's coming out, my soul erupts,
and spews its' saddened tides,
My shadow side, reveals itself,
its structure- built on lies.

It taunts me with its anger,
Provokes me with its' fear.
It's the demon from my nightmares,
and yet, the reason I'm still here.

"Face your foe!" My core screams out,
"and look it in the eye!"
confrontation will liberate,
and enable you to fly.
I know it looks quite scary,
I know the future's bleak,
But, drop your hands that shield your eyes,
and take a little peek.

This creature's of your making,
A face you'll recognise,
its' body, just illusion,
where ego mirrors pride.

I steal myself, and look a new,
cupping half an eye,
I glance across to where it stands,
and am stunned by what I spy,
No crucifying warrior,
No twisted, evil freak.
But, a broken Pollyanna,
With shoeless, dirty feet.

She looks at me so sadly,
Then clears her throat to speak.
"why do you ignore me?
you pretend that I'm not here.
you're duplicating sorrow,
By rejecting unshed tears."

"Your terrors, I collected,
Your traumas, I do bear.
I carried all your burdens, and now, it's time to share.
Running is so futile,
As there's no place you can flee.
As the girl you see before you,
is you,
and you, are me.
I'm self neglect incarnate,
and herein lies the key.
Acknowledge me, I'm vital,
I'm the piece that makes you whole,
Transcendence, this will bring about,
And help your soul evolve."

"It's not too late to save us,
This pain's a gift, you see.
to illuminate the dark in you,
and change the I,
To we."

I see you now, I'm sorry!
I was programmed to ignore-
The little child inside of me,
So I learned to close the door.

On the magic of the moment,
Possibilities, and hope,
The excitement of a new day,
And the power love evokes,
Forgive me my transgressions,
Lets just start afresh,
We'll rebuild our relationship,
Free from angst, and stress.