What I did today took courage,
It took a ton of guts and bravery.
I know it's hard to believe, but it took
Everything I had inside of me.

Today I decided that my life will change,
I would not let this haunt me any more.
Today I stepped up to the plate-
It was something I could no longer ignore.

You laugh and claim it is so easy-
To love and laugh and touch.
But for me, with my mother,
It has always been too much.
It hurts so bad I can feel it now,
And I use my coldness as my crutch.

Today I went up to her,
So nervous I was sweating.
"She'll be confused and in shock
But she'll be happy", I was betting.

I managed to say "How was work, Mom?",
My stomach full of butterflies when I touched her back.
Gasping, as if my hands were knives of sharp ice,
"Please don't" she said, and everything turned black.

She later claimed that her back hurt,
That's why I couldn't touch her.
Well, Mom, what hurts more -
You're back or the fact that you've lost your daughter?

No, she never lost her daughter.
Losing her is never something she will have to face,
Because you can't lose something
You never had in the first place.

Your back doesn't hurt, Mom.
You're cold and cruel and mean.
You'll never know in a million years
How much your neglect has crippled me.
Congratulations- you've turned your only daughter
Into a walking, talking catastrophe.

And now, today, I sit here
Even colder than I was a minute ago.
But smarter because I learned that with out a mother
You'll always have the scarlet letter "A" on your clothes-
To make sure that you know that you'll always be Alone.