MOTHER GOOSE:
I’m Mother Goose. I’m here today
to teach you how to work and play.
I’m Mother Goose. I am here today
to teach you how to be (pause) GOOD!

BIG BAD WOLF:

The human brain,
The size of your fist,
Fill it with something,
It is time to make a list.

Check it once and
Check it twice,
Santa Claus knows
Whose been naughty or nice.

My name is Elmore the cow, so wise.
I eat grass and I chew flies.
My Father's ferocious, so is my Aunt,
That's why they disregard sending me to the plant.
I leave you now with a glass of milk,

Prepare the nooses and hang them from a tree!
I’m sick and tired of my family!

I don’t need children screwing up my life!
I’ve got the money to get a trophy wife!

The road whispered to me:

“Your journey can begin and end on me, but I do not know the way. You must seek Opportunity.”

Words sift gently through the crevices of time and
sit peacefully in the thoughts of those that wonder why.

(A Democratic 2008 Cheer)

Give a rat’s ass,
Get off your ass,
Go vote!

Give a rat’s ass,
Get off your ass,
Keep your country afloat.

Give a rat’s ass,
Put down the grass,

(Rap - To go with The Night Before Christmas)

(Intro)

This is the story of a winter's night,
And a little fat dude that was really tight.

Everyone's jiving on the red, white, green,

One evening, many years ago, while traveling in the car, after Christmas celebrations, I heard music from beyond. It played in my mind and stirred my soul.

As we walk along the road together,
Step by step and mile by mile,
We must look into the eyes of each other
And see the tears and all the smiles.

There is a zip line in my head.
It zips me nightly from my bed.

It carries me across the sea,
And drops me in tranquility.

In tranquil waters I repose,
To let my brain and heart compose.

Submerge our thoughts as deep as they will go,
Surrender our visions to the musings of our souls

Subject our hearts to the plagues of heartless men,

Head transplants will soon be in style;
Frozen noggins stacked in a pile.

Neat little heads with matching caps;
Smiling through their cellophane wraps.

Smart ones, cute ones, funny ones too,

Who cares about the fur balls in little tiny clumps?
Who cares about the litter box with big juicy lumps?

Who cares about the puddles when I go away?

Yo-Ho just say no.
A pirate’s life is drug free.

Life is a ball,
Without alcohol,
My ship is sailing free.

With Cigarettes,
You will need Nicarettes,
and that’s a hefty fee.