Secrets
I've spent most of my life convincing myself,
and the people around me,
That I was just fine.
Deep down, I knew I wasn't.
But I'd say and do anything,
To keep up the lies.
I made it through High School,
living a life of denial.
Unwilling to admit to myself,
or to anyone else,
That I was living in Hell.
The day I went off to College;
I remember the feelings...
Such fear of failing,
and convinced that I would.
Each phone call from home,
I'd tell them all was well.
When really, I was falling apart,
and tumbling out of control.
And then early December,
All my secrets came out.
All the drugs and the drinking,
The purging and starving.
I landed in Treatment,
after a week in detox,
I started my journey of healing,
of learning to live,
of learning to breathe,
of learning about me.
-
- karen.elizabeth's blog
- Login or register to post comments
- 325 reads
Turmoil
Hello Karen,
I can relate much to your poem. I have been to that hell and back. Many many of my poems are about recovery. Life is hell living in turmoil
Turmoil
Silence has crept up close to me,
its claws deep in my thought.
Impending doom is all around,
depression it has wrought.
Desires, hopes and dreams are dead,
carnage has joined the lot.
They’re buried in despair and doubt,
expelled into a grot.
Strange bedfellows these horrors are,
insanity runs unabated.
As smoke from hell seethes in my soul
my life has been serrated.
Love turns to hate,
dreams to nightmares,
all friends become my foes.
The gray zone
is my new abode,
I’m bout to hit new lows.
See en h two en
plus ten h
is poison in my veins.
A cauldron boils
this deadly brew
deliquescing my brains.
If what you seek is logical
please walk away from me.
Turmoil has power over all,
just wait, and watch, you’ll see.
Copyright © 2007 Ronald J. Edwards
"things are not always what they seem to be cause seams are in all things"
emotions
"Love is Crazy, Don't get in the mix, let the mix get in you. Weird I know!"Now that is what you call a real life experience. Not many people go through that, but the people who do have the ability and potential to get help and get better and you did just that. Even thought i don't know you personally, well o.k. at all, i am proud of you. I would be proud of anybody who went through such a hard time and came out and got better and back on your feet healthy as ever.
Recovery
Is the muse of many sensitive folk. I hope you continue writing and staying clean.
"Poeta Nascitur Non Fit"